Finding Home
by PeperoPanda
Summary: Jonghyun, a 16 year old boy, is brought to a boys home, an orphanage, and is put in a room with 3 boys around his age. He wasn't there to make friends, but will Minho change that? - Jonho TaeKey Onew Jinki Jonghyun Kibum Key Minho Taemin SHINee
1. Forward

**Foreword**

"Don't worry, ok? All the kids here are really nice." Onew said.

Jonghyun shrugged a bit. He really wasn't worried about it. He was going to age out in about a year and a half, and by then, he would have figured something out. Onew opened the door to the dorm he supervised, and lead Jonghyun into the room. There were two sets of bunk beds, three of the beds were obviously taken, and one of those was currently occupied by a small lump.

"Taeminnie, are you sick?" Onew asked, softly.

"Key and I had a fight." A sad little voice said. Jonghyun looked over at the lump, is face unreadable.

"I'll go and fi-" Onew started, only to be cut off by a severe looking male in the doorway.

"It wasn't a fight. You acted up, I punished you." He said, his tone harsh, and his hands planting on his hips. "It's the Umma's job, after all."

"But you're not just the Umma, Key. Not to me." Taemin muttered, poking his head out. Key's arms dropped to his sides suddenly, his face relaxing, and looking much kinder. He moved to the bed and sat down, his arms open for the little brown haired boy, who immedietly squirmed into them.

"If I'm nicer to you, people will be meaner to you, or try to get you to do things for them. To get them out of trouble. And, besides, I don't come cuddle other people after I punish them, do I?" Key asked. Taemin shook his head, moving himself into Key's lap. "I love you, Taeminnie. You know that."

"I know." Taemin said, relaxing in the boys arms. "Hey, who's that?"

"Who's-?" Key turned and saw Jonghyun standing awkwardly in the center of the room, and Onew only a few feet away from him. "New guy?"

"Yeah. Be nice to him. We don't need another one to run crying." Onew said. Jonghyun sucked in a slow breath and held it. He'd been hoping to be left alone for a little while.

"Listen, kid. Don't touch my stuff, and I won't kill you." Key said. Onew laughed.

"Actually, he is hyung." Onew said.

"What? But he's so small!" Key said.

"So is Taemin." Onew said. Key leveled him with a look.

"Taemin is a baby." Key said.

"Then you're a pedophile." A new voice joined the conversation. Jonghyun glanced over at the new comer, and felt his breath leave him. The new boy was very handsome, and Jonghyun blushed softly before turning away.

"Minho, come here and meet your new bunkmate, and the new first in charge for your floor." Onew said. Key let out a sharp hiss, and Jonghyun felt doomed already. His roommates would kill him by the end of the week.

"Hey. I'm Minho." Minho said kindly, coming closer. Jonghyun nodded a bit, almost bowing to the, apparently, younger boy.

"Jonghyun." He said, his tongue sounding sharp.

"He's a bit shy right now, but he'll come around." Onew said with a smile. Jongyun stared at the floor for a moment before looking up at Onew.

"Which bed is mine?" He asked quietly. Onew gestured to the top bunk of the bed Key and Taemin weren't on. "Of course.."

He walked over to the bed and glared at the latter for a moment before just tossing his things up on the bed and turning to ask Onew a question, only to find the older male gone, and Key glaring straight at him. He took a deep breath and looked out the window for a moment.

"You can still run the floor you know. You seem to like it..and no one would believe I was hyung anyway." Jonghyun said.

"Hm..maybe I won't kill you after all." Key said, still cradling Taemin close to him. "Come on, now, guys. It's dinner time."


	2. Learning

Learning

Dinner turned out to be quite an event. You were allowed to sit with anyone, but people usually stuck to their own roommates, and that was fine. But the crowds of people made it difficult to hear yourself think, and the line for food, while quite fast moving, was intimidating. Minho took him by the arm and lead him through the cafeteria, helping him load up his plate without a second thought, and then lead the boy back to the table. Jonghyun sighed, but accepted this as an opportunity to get to know the people he would be spending the next 20 months with. Unless, in the apparently unlikely event, one of them got adopted. The one most likely to be adopted was Taemin, due to his cuteness. He was 15, the youngest in the room, and apparently on their entire floor. It wasn't outright said, but Jonghyun got the impression that it wasn't very common for someone so young to share a room with people so much older when people his own age were able to share a room with him.

It didn't take long for everyone to share their stories, either. Taemin, the skinny little thing, was apparently abused by his parents and his elementary school had had him removed when he was 10.

"That's why I don't really like when people yell. It bothers me a lot, and it makes the nightmares come back." Taemin said shyly, staring at the floor. Key reached over and took Taemin's hand.

"I know you want to know. We got together two months after he got here." Key said. "I got here 8 months before him. I was ten, too. My family had this really nice, small house by some water, and my mother and father treated me and each other well. They..they were in a car crash when I was 10. It was just two months after my birthday."

"I don't remember being left here. I've just been here for a long long time. My mother and father didn't want me, I guess. I think, I must have been a bad child." Minho said, biting his lip. He let out a breath and looked up at Jonghyun, his eyes sincere. "That's why I try to be a kind person now. When I was little, I must have done bad things, and not deserved love, so I have to be a good person, and care about other people now, so someone can love me. I want to become someone who can deserve that."

Jonghyun stared at Minho, his mouth hanging open a bit. He could tell he would be able to love this boy easily, but he would never admit that. Instead he took a sharp breath and stared back down at his food, not saying anything for a few minutes. He could feel their eyes on him, and he took a few slow breaths. He felt a hand cover his suddenly, a simple, kind gesture. He glanced up and saw Minho, his eyes understanding and kind. Jonghyun nodded a bit, and took a deep breath.

"My mom was hit by a car when I was thirteen." Jonghyun said. "And my dad was never around. I don't know who he is, or if he died. I don't know if my mother loved him, or married him, or..."

"You've been alone since you were thirteen?" Taemin jumped in. Key shot him a look and he fell silent, but Jonghyun had already pulled his hand from Minho's and folded them in his lap.

"Yeah." Jonghyun admitted. "I haven't been to school in a long time. And I haven't had friends."

"Or food?" Minho said suddenly, surprising Jonghyun and Key, who's sharp gaze was now on the tallest boy at the table.

"What?" Jonghyun asked.

"You're very small, and you eat like a bird." Minho said. "So I figure, you must not have had a lot of food."

"Aniyo. I didn't." Jonghyun said. He'd eaten as much as he could, but when he looked around, the rest of them had either completely finished their food, or had left maybe a small mouthful. Jonghyun had eaten only about an eighth of the food on his plate, but he couldn't make himself eat more. "I had to save my food. And be very careful."

"You can't save your food here. They get mad if you sneak food into your room." Taemin said with a pout. Jonghyun looked up, alarmed.

"They'll feed you again tomorrow. Breakfast, and a snack, and lunch, and a snack, then dinner, and another snack." Minho explained. Jonghyun stared at Minho for a few seconds, letting his words sink in. Then felt his stomach roll, and he thought he might be sick. He covered his mouth with his hand to try to hold it in. "Omo! Please, don't be upset."

"I just..I don't feel well, suddenly." Jonghyun said, getting up and running back to his room.

When he got there, he pulled his things down from his bed. He wanted to run, but tonight wasn't the night, so he changed into his ratty old sleep pants and climbed up onto the bed before he could scare himself. The bed was already made, and he plunged himself under the covers, reaching out shyly to touch the guard rails on each side, and trying to convince himself he wouldn't fall. He was a short boy, and he was naturally closer to the ground than most. He felt things were this way for a reason. He didn't like being high up, but he stuffed his fears away and burried his face in the pillow, and forced himself into a light, stressed sleep.


	3. Comfort

**Comfort**

Jonghyun woke up two hours later from a nightmare. He slept on his stomach from years of habbit, and as a result, when he pushed himself up so effortlessly, and leaned back on his knees, Minho, Key, and Taemin, who had just entered the room, looked at him with surprise in their eyes. He looked down at them, just as surprised. He always had trouble remembering where he was when he first woke up, and the people he vaguely recognized scared him. Upon realizing his distance from the ground, however, he forgot all about them and gripped the guard rail, his eyes wide. Minho approached him slowly, leaning against the rail and touching his hand softly.

"Jonghyun?" He said softly. Jonghyun closed his eyes and thought for a moment. He'd already been caught, and brought to a boys home. This was his roommate, and this was his bed. He wasn't going to fall, like he fell from the tree one time. He was safe. But he didn't open his eyes. "You're afraid of heights?"

"Y-yah..a bit." He said, taking slow, deep breaths. Minho nodded sympathetically, though the elder boy couldn't see it.

"Lay back down, ok? You're not going to fall." Minho said softly. Jonghyun opened his eyes and found himself doing as he was told, and Minho pulled the thick blanket back over him. "Are you cold? You're shaking."

"Aniyo. Thank you though. I..I'll be fine." He said. Minho nodded and smiled at him kindly. There was a creaking sound and Jonghyun jolted up, only to see the door closing. He was alone with Minho.

"Shh, calm down." Minho said. "Key and Taemin had to go make their rounds. They'll be back later."

"Alright." Jonghyun said, nodding. He pressed himself down into the mattress, but kept his face toward Minho, who still hadn't moved.

Suddenly, the younger boy reached over the rail, his height and armspan impressing Jonghyun greatly, and he ran his fingers through the elder's hair. Jonghyun found his body relaxing rapidly, and his trembling slowing.

"Wh-what are you doing?" Jonghyun asked, trying to keep his eyes from closing.

"Key does this when Taemin can't sleep. He did this to me, a few times too. When the nightmares were really bad." Minho explained. "I can't say why, because I don't know, but it always helps me. So, I'm trying to help you."

"I don't know why you're so afraid of not being loved. Everyone here must really care for you a lot." Jonghyun said. "I've never met someone as kind as you seem to be."

"I get along well with everyone, and Key and Taemin have said they love me, but for the most part, I think people are only kind to me because I'm kind to them, and they don't want to be rude." Minho said. "I'm okay with that, for now. But eventually, I want someone to love me for even the bad parts. For when I keep them up at night, and when I have a bad day."

"Someone will love you for everything, someday. I know they will. But, having a wife won't be the same as having a mother or father. You know that, right?" Jonghyun said. Minho glanced down at the floor.

"I..I don't want a wife. I'm like Taemin and Key." Minho admitted. "But, I don't want my lover to try to take a parents place. I just want someone to love me. And I want it so badly, that I've done some stupid things for people who lied to me, and claimed to love me. I'm trying to get better, but you don't always have a say in who you love, or who loves you."

"I wouldn't know." Jonghyun mumbled softly, starting to fall asleep. "No one has loved me since my mother died."

"Someone will love you, Jonghyun. Just wait." Minho said, smiling. Jonghyun looked at him with insecure eyes and nodded slowly, before his eyes closed and he fell into the most peaceful sleep he could remember in a long time.


	4. Shower

**Shower**

When Jonghyun woke up he wasn't as shocked as he had been the first time, but he was still disoriented. His body was still asleep, and he couldn't focus his eyes. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been this comfortable. He heard someone calling his name, but he was still partially in a dream, and he buried himself deeper into the blankets. He heard his name called again, and groaned a bit.

"Umma.." He mumbled, trying to get the voice to stop. In his dream he was still young, living at home with his mother, so it made sense that his mother was the one trying to wake him.

"That's what everyone calls me. But I'm not your mother, Jonghyun. Come on, now. It's time to wake up." The voice said. Jonghyun forced his eyes open again and saw Key standing to the side of the bed. He groaned, a bit embarassed, and hid his head under the pillow. "No, you can't go back to bed. Come on. You need to shower, your hair is greasy."

"Five more minutes." Jonghyun mumbled, his eyes already closing. Suddenly the blanket was off of him and so was the pillow. He pushed himself up slowly, everything looking strange to him. Key looked at him, looking slightly annoyed before his expression turned concerned.

"Are you feeling alright?" Key asked, coming closer. Jonghyun looked at him, feeling tired.

"I think so." He murmured.

"You woke up really fast yesterday." Key said. "Today, you're not."

"I'm tired." Jonghyun said. Minho looked over at him from where he stood beside his dresser.

"Do you have a headache?" He asked. Jonghyun blinked a few times.

"It just feels heavy." Jonghyun said.

"Key, let him sleep." Minho said. "His body's recovering. He needs to rest."

"He can't right now. Onew wants to meet with him, and he needs to bring him to the nurse to see how he's doing, health-wise." Key said. "And the psychiatrist is coming today."

"That's really not fair." Minho said. "Look at him. He's going to hurt himself coming down the ladder."

Jonghyun looked over at the ladder and sighed. Minho was probably right, but if he had to do these things, maybe he could lay down after he'd done them. He went to the ladder and started climbing down, his foot slipping a bit, causing him to grip the rail and freeze up. He felt someone's hands on his waist, but didn't look to see who it was. His eyes were squeezed shut, trying to stave off the sudden diziness.

"I've got you." He heard Minho whisper into his ear. He nodded a bit and went to keep climbing down, only to find there was nothing under him anymore. His eyes snapped open and he realized Minho had lifted him off the ladder. His feet touched the ground and he stood, his hand raising to his head and he sighed. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah. I'm just not awake yet." Jonghyun said, stretching a bit. "Where's the bathroom?"

"I'll show you in a second. Get a change of cloths. You need to shower." Minho said.

"Alright." Jonghyun said, grabbing his bag and digging through it, pulling out his only pair of jeans and his only other t-shirt. Minho watched this with sympathy in his eyes.

"You'll be getting more cloths soon. Probably today. They have a clothing budget for each person, so they're probably going to take you shopping." Minho said. Jonghyun flinched a bit. He hated everything about this place in a strange way. He hated the hand outs. The way everyone was so kind. It shook him. He resented this entire system for not finding him 3 years earlier. He clutched his cloths to his chest and felt his stomach reacting violently. "Calm down. You'll get used to it. I've seen a lot of people go through this. It just takes time."

"Ok." He muttered. Minho put his arm around Jonghyun's shoulders and led him out into the hall and toward the bathroom.

The bathroom was swarmed. People absolutely everywhere. Minho pulled him over to the shower area and watched him carefully. Jonghyun looked like he was in shock. The area was huge, and there were boys crowded inside, washing and joking with each other, everything exposed to each other. Jonghyun shook his head and started backing away, but Minho caught his arm.

"You have to eventually." Minho said. "Come on, we'll go put our cloths in the locker and go in."

"Alright." Jonghyun said.

The time in the shower was short, for lack of a better word. Jonghyun washed himself rapidly with the soap and shampoo Minho let him use, and booked it back to the locker room. He dried and dressed himself before Minho even stepped out of the shower. When he got to the locker room, though, he sat down beside Jonghyun and dried himself, occasionally glancing over at Jonghyun.

"What?" Jonghyun finally asked.

"I didn't realize you were so thin. You need to eat before you meet with Jinki." Minho said.

"Who's Jinki?" Jonghyun asked, confused.

"Oh..it's Onew's real name. Not many people know it..don't tell anyone." Minho said, shaking his head.

"Alright." Jonghyun said, nodding. Minho smiled at him and ruffled his hair, making Jonghyun stick out his tongue. Minho looked surprised by Jonghyun's sudden playfulness, but it was nothing compaired to the surprise Jonghyun felt.

He didn't want to make friends. It was one thing to lean on someone enough for them to help you through. That was survival. Laughing and playing with someone was unecessary. He wasn't thinking when he did that, and it scared him a bit. Minho got up and dressed himself, acting as though nothing had happened, and Jonghyun was greatful. He had enough going through his head, just thinking about getting breakfast in this crazy place.


	5. So Sick

**So Sick**

"Do you find yourself wanting to harm yourself? Or others?" The therapist asked. Jonghyun sighed and shook his head again.

"No. I don't want to hurt anyone." He said, feeling very shaken already.

"Tell me why you're so upset, Jonghyun." She said. He hugged his knee.

"Can you stop?" He asked quietly. "You keep asking and asking, and I just don't feel well today. You can ask Minho, or Key, or even the nurse. I'm sick. I just want to go lay down."

"I need to make sure you're stable." She said.

"It's easier to prove instabilty than stability." Jonghyun pointed out. The therapist smiled at that.

"That's very true." She said. "But you still haven't told me why you're so upset."

"I just don't like it here." Jonghyun said tiredly. "But at the same time, I do."

"Please, explain." She prompted.

"It's everything I've wanted and needed for the last three years." Jonghyun said. "And yet, I look at it, and all I see is waste. All the wasted food, all the wasted water, time, resources. It stressed me out. I'm used to.."

"Not having anything?" She asked. Jonghyun sighed.

"Having...exactly what I need. It's all so...excessive here." Jonghyun said lamely.

"You'll get used to it." She said. Jonghuyn nodded, his thoughts traveling to Minho again. The boy had been on his mind all day. Was this what having a crush was like? No. No, it couldn't be. Jonghyun was tired, and Minho would get him back to bed the fastest, that was all. He yawned and rubbed at his eyes absently. "Do you even realize how often you use aegyo?"

"I...what?" Jonghyun asked.

"Aegyo. Acting cute and charming." She explained. Jonghyun sighed.

"I don't do it on purpose. I don't notice it." He said, resting his head on his knee and puffing out his cheeks, before blowing the air out so his hair was caught in the wind. It always calmed him down, for some reason. Maybe that was why Minho playing with his hair had helped so much the night before.

"You do it a lot. Especially if you aren't even aware." She pointed out. Jonghyun groaned.

"I'm sorry." He said for what felt like the millionth time.

"You don't need to keep apologizing. I'm just trying to figure out how old you are." She said. Jonghyun opened his mouth to respond - with yet another apology - but stopped short, gaping for a moment, before looking ar her.

"I'm 16. I turned 16 four months ago. I told you that." He said, his voice slightly higher in volume and pitch.

"I know that. But mentally. Emotionally. You fluxuate. Sometimes, you're 35. Sometimes, you're 13. Or younger. 8 maybe." She said. Jonghyun tensed up a bit, and she smiled kindly. "You're afraid of being forgotten about, or left alone. That's why you paniced just now, when you thought I forgot your age. That's the 8 year old. The 13 year old is insecure. Shy, but seeking approval and affection. That's where the aegyo comes in. But the 35 year old thinks that getting close to anyone will only hurt you. That's why you're so stressed out. You're at war with yourself."

"Cut it out." Jonghyun said, clearly uncomfortable.

"You've got an anxiety problem. It's not hard to see." She said. "I'll be back in a month, unless something drastic happens and they call me back sooner. Try to work on calming down that 35 year old for now. And, while you're at it, try to calm down. You don't need to be so stressed out all the time."

"Can I go?" Jonghyun asked, staring down at the floor. He'd showered. eaten breakfast, seen the nurse, eaten lunch, and now he was finishing up with the therapist. He was supposed to meet with Onew, but he was hoping he might be able to push it off till tomorrow at least. He felt so sick suddenly.

"Yes, you can go." She said. He stood up, bowing quickly, and ran out into the hall.

He looked around awkwardly, a fist full of his own shirt in his hand, and he went down the hallway he thought would lead toward his room. He kept his head ducked and his eyes on the floor, trying to settle his stomach and avoid meeting anyone's eyes as he went, until he almost walked into someone, and looked up quickly. He barely registered the other person's face as he apologized, but the person turned quickly.

"Minho, I found your little pet." The person called, before looking back at Jonghyun with a good-natured grin. Jonghyun ducked his head down again, but stayed put, glaring at his feet.

"Be nice to him." Minho's voice carried through, and an arm slid around his shoulders. "He's shy."

"He looks like he just got finished with the crazy doctor." The other boy said. Minho laughed a bit.

"He may have." Minho agreed. Jonghyun felt like his head was filled with air. No pressure behind his eyes, yet too much pressure. He felt like he was going to collapse, and it wasn't until Minho gripped him and he stumbled on nothing that he realized just how badly he was swaying. "What did the nurse say?"

"I'm sick." Jonghyun said. "I want to go to sleep. I'm sick. It's ok, right? I can see Onew tomorrow."

"Yeah. You can see him tomorrow, when you feel better." Minho agreed. "But...are you ok? Did they give you medicine?"

"No." Jonghyun said, shaking his head and wobbling. "I'm just tired."

"Alright, come on." Minho said, looking up at his friend. "Joon...get Onew. He doesn't usually act this way."

"Alright." Joon nodded, heading down the hall as Minho helped a very wobbly Jonghyun back to their room.

Upon arriving in their bedroom Minho realized the biggest problem with the set up. Jonghyun wasn't doing well enough to climb the ladder to his bed, let alone the fear he experienced doing so, and the affect it would undoubtedly have on him. And, if he ended up becoming ill, he wouldn't reach the bathroom in time, and ran the risk of falling. It only really left one option, and Minho didn't hesitate to slide Jonghyun into his own bed.


	6. Skinship

**Skinship**

Jonghyun's eyes shifted back and forth unconciously as he stared blankly at the other males gathered around his side. Onew was worried, but he was overreacting. Key was worried, but he was the Umma, and therefore it was his job to be worried about his newest 'son.' Taemin was freaking out, convinced they needed to call an ambulance or Jonghyun would just die. Minho looked annoyed with the other boys as he carded his fingers through Jonghyun's hair absently.

"You should get some sleep." He whispered while the other three debated over which course of action to take.

"They're too loud." Jonghyun said, shaking his head. "The dizziness is gone now anyway."

"But you're still tired." Minho said. "The shock is wearing off, but you've still been through a lot."

"It's nothing. Don't worry about it." Jonghyun said. Minho tilted his head and smiled softly.

"We're friends, right?" Minho asked. Jonghyun opened his mouth, wanting to deny it, but after all the nice things Minho had done over the last twenty four hours, he really couldn't say no.

"Yeah." Jonghyun said in a quiet voice.

"Then don't tell me not to worry. It's my job." Minho winked. Jonghyun sat up quickly.

"How did you do that?" He asked. Minho laughed.

"If you lay down, I'll show you." Minho said.

Jonghyun obliged, not noticing that the other three males in the room had fallen silent to watch his exchange with Minho. After a few minutes of Minho explaining, and demonstrating, and Jonghyun trying he managed to blink each eye individually, and was quite proud of himself. He grinned at the younger male, somehow still looking tired and cute as he did so.

"Can I ask you something?" Jonghyun said, his voice sleepy.

"Yeah, of course." Minho said kindly. Jonghyun took a deep breath and sat up a bit, leaning on his elbow.

"Ok..is everyone here gay?" Jonghyun asked. Minho looked a bit surprised, but there was no disgust or discomfort in Jonghyun's voice - just curiosity.

"No." Minho said slowly. "There's the three of us, and a few others in two other rooms, but other than that no one else has come out, and we don't expect them to. Why?"

"Well..I just see guys cuddling everywhere and I just thought-" Jonghyun started to say, blushing madly, but Minho burst into laughter.

"It's skinship, Jonghyun." Minho choked out. Jonghyun looked confused, and slightly embarassed.

"Well...what's that?" Jonghyun asked shyly. Minho's laughter died rapidly.

"You don't know what skinship is?" Minho asked. Jonghyun shook his head, looking - and feeling - extremely awkward. "It's just..touching."

"What?" Jonghyun looked up at him.

"Everytime I play with your hair, or put my arm around your shoulder - that's skinship." Minho said. "And cuddling, holding hands, sometimes even kissing one another - that's all skinship too. Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between skinship and relationship."

"Wait," Jonghyun said, thinking for a moment. "So...you can just go up to any random person...and kiss them...and it's ok?"

Minho shook his head, looking uncomfortable. Jonghyun looked more confused than ever at this point, and stuffed himself back into the covers of Minho's bed awkwardly.

"No..usually it's just one person that you are close with." Minho said. "Sometime's it's a small group of friends. But, you have to be really comfortable with the other person, or people, if you're going to be able to relax around them. You know?"

"Yeah, I guess that makes sense." Jonghyun said, thinking about the implications of what Minho has just said.

"Jjong, you feeling any better?" Key asked suddenly. Jonghyun jolted - he'd forgotten the others were in the room.

"I'm fine. I'm just tired." Jonghyun said. Minho glanced up at the top bunk, where Jonghyun was supposed to be, and looked back at the strong featured boy, who was now pulling out the aegyo like it was his job.

"Get some sleep, then, ok?" Onew said. "We've got stuff to do...but Minho, could you stay here with him?"

"Yeah, no problem." Minho said, nodding. Onew smiled at him and led the other two boys out of the room. Minho looked back at Jonghyun, who seemed to be a bit lost in thought. "You ok?"

"Yeah..I was just thinking.." Jonghyun trailed off, not finishing his sentence as he glanced back up at his own bed. Minho smiled sympathetically.

"Look, I won't make you go up there tonight on one condition." Minho said.

"What?" Jonghyun asked, looking up at him.

"Push over." Minho said. Jonghyun slid over quickly, and Minho climbed in beside him.

After a few minutes of squirming and trying to get comfortable without pushing each other's boundries Minho finally sighed and slid one arm under Jonghyun's neck, draping the other over the elder's slim form. Jonghyun felt his heart pounding in his ribcage, but did his best not to react in any obvious way as Minho got comfortable. Eventually, he rolled over and rested his head on Minho's chest, one hand resting against Minho's side, the other curled against his chest. Minho smiled a bit and hugged him gently, before closing his eyes, and soon enough, they both drifted to sleep.

When Jonghyun woke up the next morning, he was starving. He jumped a bit, surprised that his stomach was so noisy. He glanced up at Minho, who was still holding him loosely in his arms, and blushed when he saw the other boy grinning.

"Hungry?" Minho asked teasingly.

"I...yeah." Jonghyun said, nodding.

"Well, let's get up and -" Minho started to say, before he was cut off by Key.

"It's too early for breakfast." The Umma said.

"Oh." Minho said, looking around. He was right, it was just barely getting light outside - breakfast wasn't for at least another two hours. "Sorry...I didn't realize how early it was."

"It's fine." Jonghyun said, shrugging, but sounding a bit put out. He cuddled back against Minho and tried to ignore the painful cramps gripping his stomach. Even after all the time he'd spent going hungry, he'd never gotten used to the pain of hunger. Minho rubbed Jonghyun's back gently as the older boy closed his eyes. There was a loud wine from Jonghyun's stomach, and he flinched. "S-sorry."

"Don't be." Minho said, looking down at the other boy. "I feel bad, though. You didn't get dinner last night."

Another angry growl sounded, and Jonghyun tensed at the pain. These fits only lasted fifteen or so minutes, but he hated them with a passion. Minho looked down at him, concerned, before looking over at Key. Key was over by the window, looking out at the dawn breaching the horizon, but met Minho's gaze quickly.

"Key, come on. I know you can hear this." Minho said. Key nodded slowly.

"I'll see what I can do - but I can't make any promises." Key said, walking out the door. Jonghyun make a small noise of discomfort, and Minho pet his hair softly.

"Sorry." Jonghyun said again. Minho shook his head.

"Calm down. It's ok." Minho said. Jonghyun opened his mouth to say something, but instead sucked in a lot of air and puffed out his cheeks. Minho smiled and pressed his forhead agsainst the elder's. "You're adorable."

Jonghyun let out all of the air he'd been holding in in one big woosh. What...did he just say?


	7. Shopping

Key was the craziest person Jonghyun had ever met. He was now certain of that fact. He had been standing by the clearance rack, awkwardly looking through the pants and trying to figure out what size he actually was, when the boy suddenly pulled him over to a mirrored dressing room. He'd pulled out a measuring tape and figured out Jjong's sizes within seconds, but wouldn't let him leave. Minho cast him a pitying glance before scurrying off, which made him very uncomfortable. Within minutes he discovered why Minho had looked at him in such a way. He found himself stripped down to his underwear and blushing before he knew what was happening. What was it with these guys and not having any shame? Then Key started dumping piles of cloths around him, and demanding he try on various things. Only when he was done trying on everyting Key put him in did he get a say.

"Ok, this pile looked good on you. This pile sucked." Key said. "So, I'm going to put this away. You pick what you like from that pile, and we'll go from there."

"A-arasso." Jonghyun said, blinking rapidly. As Key walked away, Taemin suddenly appeared.

"Don't be scared of him. He did this to all of us. But, we never wear bad cloths, so we're probably the best looking ones in the entire home!" Taemin said. Jonghyun nodded as he pulled the pants he came in back on. Taemin stared at his stomach just long enough for Jonghyun to feel awkward.

"What..?" He said. Taemin eye's shot up to meet his and in them was a terrible sadness Jonghyun had never seen before. "T-Taeminnie..what is it?"

"You look like you're starving to death." Taemin said. Jonghyun felt his blood run cold. He'd been trying to eat more. He wasn't used to having so much food, he got full too quickly. Was he going to get in trouble? He cast a nervous glance around. "Look."

"Huh?" He looked wear Taemin was pointing, and saw that the boy had lifted his shirt to reveal his own stomach. It flowed down perfectly from his chest. No indentations or curves, just a flat continuation leading to his hips. "Oh."

Jonghyun's own stomach was caved in. His ribcage was perfectly visible, and the skin flowed inward with the rest of abdomin, not evening out again until it reached the place where his hips jutted out. He quickly grabbed his t-shirt and pulled it on, feeling very self-concious. Taemin suddenly looked down, blushing. Jonghyun raised a brow, and the younger boy looked back up.

"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I was just really surprised, that's all." Taemin said. "I'm sure once your body gets used to the food you'll be fine."

"Taemin, no picking on your hyung, arasso?" Minho said, walking up behind the youngest.

"O-oh, sorry!" Taemin said, turning and running off to find Key. Minho smiled at Jonghyun.

"Don't think on it too much. I've seen plenty of people come in here looking like death and leave perfectly fine." Minho said, unconciously reaching out to fluff Jonghyun's hair. The shorter boy looked down at the pile of cloths he had to go through, then looked back up at Minho.

"I need help." He said. Minho glanced at the pile, then back up at Jonghyun.

"Yes, you do." He said, taking a seat on the floor beside the pile and patting the ground beside him. Jonghyun sat down next to him, and started going through the hoards of t-shirts and jeans.

By the time they were done they had only said no to two pairs of jeans, leaving about 10 still in the cart, along with twice as many shirts. Jonghyun, again, was experiencing an uncomfortable nausea as he looked at all the cloths and listened to Key talking about what ELSE they needed to get. Underwear, socks, shampoo, conditioner, body wash, a shower poof, a jacket, a hat, a pair of gloves, a scarf, at least two sweatshirts, and some sweatpants. Jonghyun looked at Minho desperately, but the boy only shrugged.

"This is the standard stuff that everyone gets." Minho said. He looked at the stuff the other boys had and realized that he had the most by a landslide.

"Do I need to get it all?" Jonghyun asked. Onew nodded.

"There's a minimum that must be spent per boy. We haven't reached yours yet." He explained. Jonghyun wrapped his arms around his stomach.

"I need to sit down for a minute." He said. Minho looked at him worriedly before dropping his stuff - socks and shampoo - in the cart and putting his arm around his elders shoulders and leading him outside to sit on the bench they'd seen on the way in.

"Are you ok?" Minho asked. Jonghyun nodded slowly.

"It just takes some getting used to, I guess." He said, closing his eyes and pressing his palms against his lids. Minho nodded knowingly.

"It's harder on some people, I've learned." Minho said. "I've seen some cases similar to yours, but never quite the same. In due time, you'll get there."

"Minho...what did Onew put have to drop off at the lawyers office?" Jonghyun asked. "It had my name on it."

"You saw that?" Minho asked, surprised. "It was adoption papers. He's trying to get you out of the system. He's trying to get us all out."

"But..how can he do that? How would he be able to afford it?" Jonghyun asked. Minho laughed.

"Onew doesn't work for money, you know. His parents were very rich. They passed away when he was about your age." Minho said. "That's why he does this. But he has a big house. I've never been inside it, but I know Key has. He said there's a lot of extra bedrooms, and private bathrooms."

"Why has Key been inside?" Jonghyun asked. Minho looked uncomfortable suddenly.

"I'll tell you that story another time, ok?" Minho said. Jonghyun nodded. "You're the first one he's going to adopt. And then he wants to adopt Taemin. Then it's either me or Key. We're not really sure yet."

"Why not?" Jonghyun asked.

"Because I've been here longer. Much, much longer, but Key hates it there so much..it's a hard decision to make." Minho said. Jonghyun's eyes widened at that.

"I thought Key liked it there." Jonghyun admitted. Minho laughed a bit.

"Key is a diva, and he has no privacy there. It's not a good combination." Minho explained. Jonghyun nodded.

"I guess that makes sense." Jonghyun said. Minho smiled at him.

"So, are you feeling any better?" Minho asked. Jonghyun nodded and they stood up and went back inside.


	8. Bedsheets

Jonghyun remained calm and seemingly unbothered through most of the rest of the trip. Jinki seemed pleased about this, and took it as a good sign for things to come. By the time they left the store, however, they were still under the spending limit, even though Jonghyun had gotten everything he needed, so they were on their way to a bedding store. Some sheets and a new blanket wouldn't do any harm, though Minho had some regret at the thought of giving the boy incentive to return to his own bed. Jonghyun wandered through the isles aimlessly. He wasn't sure what he was after, because he'd never bought bedsheets before. You were supposed to chose your favorite color right? But he wasn't sure what his favorite color was. He looked slightly stressed as he walked through yet another isle of blankets and pillow cases. Minho came up behind him and wrapped his arms around his hyung from behind.

"What's the matter?" Minho asked, resting his chin on top of Jjong's head.

Jonghyun sighed and thought about the things bothering him. He didn't want to sleep on the top bunk, but they would probably expect him to if he got the new sheets. And if Onew really was going to adopt him or whatever, how long would he be away from Minho? His guess was too long. He wouldn't mind some space to deal with the things in his own head for a few days, but what if it was weeks? Or months? He would be so upset. He liked the warmth and comfort the other boy offered. But he couldn't say any of that, so he shrugged a bit.

"I'm just not sure what to get." He said. Minho sighed a bit.

"What's your favorite color?" He asked. Jonghyun shrugged awkwardly. "Alright..well, you seemed to really like the blue and purple cloths Key picked out. Maybe we could look for one of those colors."

"Alright." Jonghyun agreed slowly, and Minho let go of him to start walking down an isle.

He hung back for a moment, thinking about the way the younger boy made him feel. He knew he trusted him, and he was comfortable around him, and that was why their skinship worked so well. But he wasn't sure if there was more to it or not. He knew he wouldn't really have much to worry about if that was the case..his roommates were all that way, and he was sure they would accept him. But he just wasn't sure how he felt, so he decided not to tell anyone until he was certain. He looked up suddenly, realizing he had no idea where Minho had gone. He sighed and resigned himself to start looking, when a group of people came into the isle. He took in a sharp breath and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his worn out jeans and went to go out the other end, when more people came in that way too. He swallowed hard, mentally kicking himself for not following Minho when he should have, and started walking the direction he'd seen Minho going. He glanced down the isles quickly, growing more and more frustrated and paniced each time he didn't see the taller boy. He was walking quickly, now, his eyes not stopping for a second as he searched, and finally, finally, he found him looking at a shelf with some mild confusion.

"Minho!" Jonghyun said. Minho looked up and smiled a bit, waving him over. Jonghyun all but ran to him, taking his hand immedietly.

"Woah, are you ok?" Minho asked, surprised by the other male initiating contact. Jonghyun nodded quickly.

"I just thought I lost you for a minute there. I'm ok, now." Jonghyun said, staring at the floor. Minho smiled and squeezed the shorter boys hand.

"It's ok. I'll always be here." Minho said. Jonghyun felt his heart skip, and looked up at Minho's grinning face.

"How do you know?" Jonghyun asked, insecurity etched in his tone.

"With some people, you just know." Minho said. "Now then, what do you think of this?"

Jonghyun looked at the blanket in Minho's hand. It was soft, like something you would expect a baby to have, but big enough that he would be able to wrap it around himself. It was a deep purple cheeta print, and Jonghyun felt oddly embarrassed at the thought of admitting he liked it. Like it was some kind of test, but he nodded anyway. Minho smiled and ruffled his hair, then put the blanket in the cart before grabbing some plain black sheets and a black comforter.

"I think this will cover what was needed to be spent." Minho said. Jonghyun sighed in relief. "We'll go and get lunch after this, then we'll head back to the home, ok?"

"Already?" Jonghyun asked, looking a bit put out. Minho raised his eyebrows.

"Well, what else did you think we were going to do?" He asked. Jonghyun sighed, squeezing Minho's hand a bit before looking at it in surprise, like he was only now aware of the contact. He shook his head and took a breath before responding.

"I was just hoping we would be able to actually spend some time outside that wasn't in the parking lot." Jonghyun said. "I don't like being inside so much."

"Well...we could always talk to Jinki. Maybe see if we could eat somewhere with an outside table?" Minho offered. Jonghyun thought it over for a moment before slowly nodding.

"Yeah..I guess that could work." Jonghyun said. Minho smiled at him before leading him over to where Onew was watching Taemin bounce up and down in excitement.

"Hey, what's going on?" Minho asked when they reached the others. Jinki smiled at Minho.

"I got approved." He said. "I can bring Jonghyun to my house tomorrow. And they said that, if I am seriously considering adopting all of you, I would be able to do so within the next month and a half."

"Really?" Minho asked. Onew nodded.

"They just need to make sure that Jonghyun adjusts well to each of you coming in, and they think the transition may be easier if I were to take you for weekend visits." He said. Jonghyun looked around slowly, feeling awkward as he tried to hide behind Minho, but stopped suddenly.

"Where's Kibum?" He asked. Minho glanced back at him, slightly surprised.

"He had to go outside for a few minutes." Jinki said. "He'll be right back."

"Is he ok?" Jonghyun asked, concern clear in his eyes. Minho furrowed his brow, but Taemin continued to look unsurprised.

"He'll be ok. He just needs to calm down. He's too happy right now, and it makes him seem a little weird, so he didn't want anyone to see." Taemin explained. Jonghyun nodded slowly, not sure he understood, but allowed himself to be lead to the check out nonetheless.

They were almost done paying when Key made his entrance, and Jonghyun noted that his eyes were a bit puffy, as though he had been crying. Minho made a serious attempt at distracting him from this fact, but now Jonghyun was worried about the self-proclaimed Umma. He detatched himself from Minho and went over to Key shyly.

"Are you ok?" Jonghyun asked. Key looked at him, startled, but nodded. "Ok..well..if you ever need to talk about it..I'm here, you know."

There was a long silence as what he said sank in to the group. The shyest boy in the entire group was actually making an effort to connect with the loudest boy in the group, and it was a bit startling for everyone, especially Jonghyun, who had still believed he didn't want to make friends. But, after seeing Kibum in such a state, he knew he would feel terrible if he didn't at least try to make it so the boy wouldn't have to cry anymore. Key, who seemed to be in a trance at what the boy said, suddenly smiled warmly and wrapped his arms around Jonghyun.

"Thank you." Key said, squeezing him, before letting him go. Jonghyun nodded a bit, before worming his way under Minho's arm. "So...have we decided what we're doing for lunch yet?"

"I have an idea!" Minho said, winking at Jonghyun. The older boy merely smiled in response, and picked up a bag to carry.


	9. Key

Jonghyun fidgeted for a few minutes next to the bunk he shared with Minho, not sure what he should be doing. He looked over at Key, who, for some reason, was the only other person in their bedroom. The Umma sighed dramatically and crossed his arms.

"You can just sleep in his bed again. I can promise you he won't mind." Key said. Jonghyun nodded slowly, looking at his piled of stuff in the corner, and instantly looking away again. "You should be greatful. Before you came here, you had nothing."

"I am." Jonghyun said quietly.

"Then why don't you act like it?" Key asked. "I get it, it's difficult to adjust, but I lost so much to get here, and I'm still greatful. You're gaining so much, yet you act like you're terrified of it."

"I'm not scared of what I'm getting." Jonghyun said quietly, sitting on the bed. "And honestly, none of it means anything to me. It's a possesion. Easily gained. Easily lost."

"Then what's your problem?" Key asked. Jonghyun sighed.

"My problem is you." He said quietly. "And Taemin. And Minho."

"Excuse me?" Key asked, looking offended.

"You guys are suddenly so important to me, and I don't know why." He explained. "It scares me that I have you guys, because I could lose you, and I can't get you back if I do."

Key stared at him in silence for a few minutes before moving across the room and sitting beside him. Jonghyun kept his eyes steadily on the floor, not sure what was coming, and already uncomfortable enough having admitted what he had. Key suddenly wrapped his arms around the older boy and squeezed gently. Jonghyun looked up at him slowly.

"We're trying to help make sure that you won't lose us, though. You need to work with us." Key said. Jonghyun nodded. "So, you're going with Jinki in the morning, right? He took the day off of work to bring you home and help you get settled. So we'll be coming to visit two days later. And I think you would be able to come visit while he's at work. I'm not sure, but I think I remember him mentioning something to Taemin about that."

"I didn't know that." Jonghyun said, surprised, and Key nodded. They sat in silence for a few minutes, Key still holding onto Jonghyun, before the older boy finally spoke. "Minho said you've seen Onew's house."

"He told you that?" Key asked, sliding his arms off of the smaller boy. Jonghyun nodded.

"He wouldn't tell me anything else, though." He said, obviously fishing for more information. Key sighed.

"When I first came here, I got adopted." Key said slowly. "It was before Taemin got here, and it was by this really nice couple."

Jonghyun sat in stunned silence. He'd been adopted, but had to come back? That was horrible. He looked at the younger boy, feeling sad for him, but not saying anything, and just letting him continue.

"They had a huge house, and it was a great place to be all around, but within about a month of me being there, the girl started getting mean, and the guy would get angry with her and tell her to leave me alone. Then one day, the umma hit me. It wasn't really that hard, just a slap, but the appa got really mad and called the police. She said she was just punishing me for being bad, but the appa said that no child ever deserved to be hit for any reason, and he kicked his wife out and filed for a divorce. In total, I was there for 6 months before I got taken out because, at that time, it wasn't considered socially acceptable to be a single father if you adopted the child." Key said. "But Jinki promised he'd keep taking care of me, and he'd find a way to make it so I could come back if it killed him. He was going to take Minho, too, but the umma stated getting mean, and he just didn't want to put both of us through that. Jinki is a good appa, Jonghyun. You'll see that soon enough. It just took a while for everything to work out, but things will be better now."

"Wait..I thought you said you got here eight months before Taemin, after your parents died when you were ten." Jonghyun said.

"I did. Jinki saw that I was having a really difficult time, so he took me in after only a month of me being here. I came back about a month before Taemin got here." Key explained. Jonghyun nodded slowly. That made sense, though now he wasn't exactly sure of what to say. The door opened suddenly, and Minho came in, relieving the heaviness in the air.

"Hey, Jjong." Minho said, coming over to the bed. Key got up and went out the door, surprising Jonghyun a bit, but leaving an open space for Minho to sit. "So, you're leaving tomorrow."

"Yeah, I guess I am." Jonghyun said sadly. Minho smiled at him.

"We can see each other on the weekends, you know." Minho said. Jonghyun shrugged a bit, not sure that was enough. He knew it could be a long time before Minho was actually with him again, and that made him sad, even knowing Taemin would be there. "Or..not. We don't really have to go."

"What?" Jonghyun looked up at him, alarmed. Minho looked confused at the expression on Jonghyun's face.

"Do..do you want me to visit?" He asked. Jonghyun opened his mouth to speak, but suddenly he was nervous again.

"I'm going to miss you when you're not there." He said. Minho smiled a bit sadly at him, and Jonghyun suddenly noticed how close they were, and the way Minho's body was angled to him. He leaned against the younger boy shyly, and felt relief when one of those long arms wrapped around him. "Key told me about what happened."

"What do you mean?" Minho asked. Jonghyun sighed.

"About when he was ten, and Jinki adopted him." Jonghyun clarified. Minho looked surprised.

"He doesn't usually tell anyone that story." Minho said. "You should feel special."

"I just feel bad, now. Like I'm getting in the way of what will make him happy." Jonghyun explained. Minho laughed a bit.

"The only way to get between him, and happiness, would be to stand between him and Taemin." Minho said, then paused thoughtfully. "Or him and a mirror. That generally wouldn't go over too well."

Jonghyun laughed at that, then just continued to smile afterward. He looked up at Minho suddenly, and made his eyes as big as he could, purposely using aegyo for the first time since he could remember.

"Minho?" He said. Minho looked at his hyung questioningly. "Do you mind if we share again tonight?"

"Of course not, Jjong." Minho said, pulling the smaller boy into his lap. "There's always room for you."


	10. Homecoming

When Jonghyun first laid eyes on Jinki's house, he didn't even know what to think. It was huge, and intimidating, but he was sure it couldn't be that scary if Key spoke so highly of it. He followed Jinki through the door and into the main household. The room he entered was surprisingly large, considering that it appeared to have no reason for existing other than holding coats and shoes. He looked around curiously, trying to figure out any other purpose, but really couldn't seem to find one. The room itself was a cream color, with a linoleum floor. He slid off his shoes, but opted to keep the sweatshirt Minho had wrapped around him right before he left. He thought back on that moment, and he wasn't completely sure if Minho knew that he knew, but he could still feel Minho's lips pressed against his forehead for that brief moment, almost like an accident. He rubbed the cuff of the sweatshirt against his lips. It was a small comfort in yet another unfamiliar place. It smelled just like him.

Jonghyun was carrying his duffel bag that had been with him for as long as he could remember in one hand, and his new bedsheets in the other, while Jinki carried the suitcase that was full of cloths. He lead the boy out of the entrance room, through a spacious living room with red walls and a caramel couch, and into a hallway with a few doors, an open doorway leading to a kitchen, and a wide staircase that somehow didn't make the space feel claustrophobic, and was almost inviting.

"Come on, your room is up these stairs." Jinki said with a smile. Jonghyun nodded nervously and followed him up the stairs, and down the right side of the hallway. "Right here."

He had his hand on a knob and was looking at Jonghyun kindly as he pushed the door open. The first thing he saw was blue. The color of the sky on those perfect days, where the sun doesn't feel like blinding you, but it's still warm. He could almost feel the breeze washing over him as he stepped into the room and looked around. There were two beds in the large room and he looked at Jinki for instruction.

"You can have either one." He said, smiling. Jonghyun bit his lip and looked back and forth between the beds before choosing the one near the window. He set his things down and looked back at Jinki. "I'm going to go do some yard work I've been blowing off. Come find me if you need anything, alright?"

"Y-yah." Jonghyun said, nodding as the elder bowed out.

Jonghyun moved over to the bed and started putting his sheets on it, then moved on to putting his cloths in the dresser. The whole process only took about an hour, but when he was done, he had no desire to do anything, so he laid in his bed and wrapped his purple blanket around himself. After a few minutes, it hit him. As uncomfortable and upset as he had been over the past few days, he knew that was nothing compared to what he was about to experience. Flashes went off in his mind as he thought back to his mother, and how happy they were in their little two bedroom apartment. There was never much food or money, and they were always without one thing or the other, but they were always happy.

Tears streamed down his cheeks as he recalled the accident that took her away, and he rubbed his blanket against his forehead, using the softness as an attempt to comfort himself. It only reminded him how much things had changed. His thoughts went on fast forward after that. His mother had always spoken in a way that made him fear being taken away, so he did everything he could not to be found. He hid in alley's, slept in trees for a few months until he took a nasty fall that left him terrified of heights. Nothing outside of a few ribs had broken, but that pain mixed with hunger and loneliness scared the hell out of him. He never wanted to be there again. After that, he began sleeping in car parks, abandoned buildings, things of that nature. He stole food and water when he had to, but mostly, he tried to work for the things he needed. It was hard, but it worked for him, until it didn't. Everything would have been fine, had he not gotten sick a week prior. He was too sick to work, or to steal. He got very dehydrated, and the fact was, he probably would have died had someone not found him and taken him to the hospital. The problem was, after the hospital, they sent him to the boys home.

Though, now that he thought about it, he wasn't sure he was so upset over being taken there. At first, it was scary, but whenever he got scared, Minho was there. And when he was sick, Key was there. And when he just needed a friend, Taemin was there too. And Onew. Jinki. The Appa of the group. The caretaker, who would never let anything happen to any of them. He was just left trying to figure out how he became part of that group so quickly. Maybe it was just how things were meant to be, he didn't know for sure. He just hoped that he wouldn't have to leave here, too. He'd never been too sure about home, but he was pretty sure this was about as close as he'd been in a few years. He sniffed again, the tears coming faster now, and he realized he missed the younger boy he'd clung so hard to over the last few days. He buried his face in his arms and inhaled Minho's scent, hoping he would be able to sleep and forget his sad thoughts for a while.

He didn't move again until Jinki came to get him for lunch. When the older male shook him, he woke up and jumped in surprise. He smiled down at the boy, who by now had managed to completely tangle himself in the blanket Minho had picked out. His face was partially hidden by his right arm, but he knew his tear tracks were still visible, so he rubbed his face before sitting up.

"It's just me." Onew said, and Jonghyun nodded slowly.

He got up and followed him down the stairs and into the kitchen, where he learned that Jinki was actually a good cook. He ate as much as he could, but found himself feeling guilty when he couldn't finish. He looked slightly panic stricken at the thought of throwing the food out, and somehow Jinki seemed to understand that. He saran wrapped the plate and put it in the fridge, explaining that the food would still be there later, when he was hungry again. Jonghyun nodded, his eyes slightly wide, and thanked his elder. Not too long after, he began to rediscover the luxuries of living in a private home. He could shower by himself, take as long as he wanted without worrying people would stare. It was nice to know that he could make himself clean, and not feel dirty doing so.

Over the next two days he politely declined to go back to the home for a visit with Minho and the others, and spent most of his time hiding out in his room when Jinki was home. He crept out on occasion when he was home alone, getting to know the house better, and eating some food. He left almost no evidence that he was there at all, and was still processing and coping with everything. It took Jinki almost dragging him out to get him to eat dinner. Jinki was a bit concerned by Thursday night, being that Jonghyun wasn't really acting like he wanted to see the other boys, and he hadn't said outright that he wanted them to come the next day. He made the decision to push off the first weekend visit by a week if Jonghyun didn't say otherwise or go visit the next day, and when he opted to stay in his room the next morning while he was getting ready to go, and made no mention of seeing Minho, Key, or Taemin, Jinki resigned himself to his decision. One week wouldn't do much damage.

Minho looked especially hurt by the news that Jonghyun didn't seem to want to see them, but accepted the information. Key looked rather annoyed by the fact, but Taemin looked confused more than anything else. He couldn't make sense of it. Why wouldn't Jjong want them around? He thought they all got along really well. It just didn't make any sense. Jinki had tried to explain the various reasons why he may have been acting that way, but what it came down to was that Jonghyun was closing himself off, and it seemed like Onew would have to put in some extra effort to get him to come around. After working the whole day he came home a bit late, after reassuring the boys they would be able to visit the following weekend, and found Jonghyun sitting on the stairs, half asleep, and wrapped up in his blanket, as though he had been sitting there a while. Jinki walked over to him and gently placed a hand on his shoulder. Jonghyun jolted slightly, looking up at his elder with tired eyes.

"What are you doing?" He asked. Jonghyun looked at him, a bit surprised.

"I was waiting." Jonghyun said, as though it were obvious.

"For what?" Jinki asked. Jonghyun blinked a few times and looked around, starting to wake up.

"Min...Minho said they were coming to visit today." Jonghyun said, looking kind of upset. "Are they out in the car?"

"No, they didn't come." Onew said. Jonghyun's face fell immediately.

"Oh." Jonghyun said, small tears coming to his eyes. "Ok. Maybe he meant next week."

He got up and started heading back to his room, but Jinki caught his arm.

"Did you want them to come?" He asked. Jonghyun shrugged, his blanket sliding off of him. He was wearing some pajama pants, a t-shirt, and Minho's sweatshirt.

"Only if they wanted to come." He mumbled awkwardly, and Onew sighed.

"Stay here, I'll be right back." Jinki said. Jonghyun nodded and slowly sat back where he had been. Within two minutes Jinki returned, talking into a phone. "Yes. Yes. Alright. Yeah. Here you go."

He handed the phone over to Jonghyun, who, after staring at it for a moment, pressed it to his ear.

"Yobosayo?" He said, sounding a bit unsure, his voice still a bit thick from the tears he was trying to hide.

"Jjong, it's me. Minho." The voice on the other end of the line said. Jonghyun looked a bit surprised. "Are you there?"

"Y-yah." Jonghyun said.

"Do you want us to come?" Minho asked. Jonghyun nodded, then realized that Minho couldn't see him.

"Yah. You said you were. I was...I was waiting all day." Jonghyun admitted. Minho sighed.

"We didn't think you wanted us to come because you didn't come visit." Minho explained.

"I just needed to think by myself for a while. I'm ok now, but I thought you guys were just going to come." Jonghyun explained. Jinki crossed his arms before walking over to Jonghyun and gesturing for him to follow him. Jonghyun got up slowly and followed him to the entrance room, where he followed Jinki's lead and put his shoes on silently, all the while listening to Minho telling him that they wanted to come, and that they missed him. "I..I miss you too, Minho."

"So you promise to come visit on Monday?" Minho asked. Jonghyun nodded again, before shaking his head, then sputtering. He didn't want to talk on the phone anymore. He shoved it into Jinki's hand and ran back to the stairs. "Hello?"

"Sorry, Minho. I don't think he likes the phone." Jinki explained. Minho sighed.

"I understand." Minho said, sounding a bit frustrated. "Is he going to come on Monday?"

"I'll talk to him about it. In the meantime, can I call you back? I need to go check on him." Jinki said. Minho hummed in agreement and the line went dead. "Jonghyun, where did you go?"

"I'm over here." He said, following Jinki's voice through the living room. "I forgot to put my blanket back in my room. I don't want to leave a mess."

"Just leave it on the couch. We won't be gone long." Jinki said. Jonghyun stopped short in front of him.

"Where are we going?" Jonghyun asked.

"To get Minho and Key and Taemin." He said. Jonghyun's face lifted, and he grinned to his eyes. He tossed his blanket on the couch and followed Jinki out to the car.

When they arrived at the boys home, though, Jonghyun looked anxious. Jinki motioned for him to follow, so he unbuckled and stepped out of the vehicle, then followed the older male into the building. He went straight for his old room out of instinct, and Jinki didn't stop him, instead heading to his own office. He would have to fudge some paperwork to take the three boys home with him, but he knew that it would be ok. Jonghyun pushed the door open quietly, and searched his shy eyes around the room until he found Minho. The first one to notice him, however, was the maknae.

"Hyung!" Taemin said excitedly, bouncing up off of his bed and going over to the door. Key and Minho both turned their attention quickly to the door, and him, as Taemin pulled him into the room.

"Hey, 'Minnie." Jonghyun said, grinning.

"Are you done with your tantrum, now?" Key asked. Taemin puffed out his cheeks and nodded, but Key shook his head. "Not you, Tae."

"I just needed some space to think for a little while, you know?" Jonghyun explained quietly, feeling guilty for keeping Key from going to his rightful home. "I think I'm better now."

"Good." Minho said, cutting off whatever Key was about to say and coming over to him with a smile. Jonghyun grinned at him and within moments found himself wrapped up in Minho's strong arms.

"I didn't know I was supposed to visit." Jonghyun said. "I'm sorry."

"It's ok." Minho said. Key sighed before walking over and tugging a bit on the sweatshirt Jonghyun was wearing. Jonghyun looked at him nervously, preparing to be reprimanded for stressing them.

"I put in all that effort finding the best cloths for you, and you decide to wear hand-me-downs? What am I going to do with you?" Key said, smiling a bit. Jonghyun laughed in surprise and shrugged, leaning on Minho.

"Come on guys. We can still go for take out if you want." Jinki said from the doorway, eliciting several agreeable noises from the boys in the room.


End file.
